Two-footed Varmints

[Stone Jaguar]

Esteemed ladies & gents, for those of us who have had prized specimen plants "borrowed" from front bed plantings that were designed to share the love with passers-by, I give you:

https://throwflame.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Tactical nuke add-on package optional.

Now, are we a genuinely b.ts..t crazy country or what?

[Melt in the Sun]

I didn't see the nuke add-on...maybe I'm dense but can you link that product page? /s

I must admit that I'm a bit surprised this is legal. Never really thought about it I suppose. Then again, anyone with a credit card can quickly and easily buy a 3.5W laser that is capable of permanently blinding people and lighting stuff on fire from great distances.
http://www.wickedlasers.com/arctic" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Stone Jaguar]

Ah, but the Chinese manufacturer doesn't guarantee delivery to the US. My weekend toy of mass destruction is "Made in the heart of the American Midwest" (SO-high-O), so toasty varmint take-down really is just a few mouse clicks away.

Think the tactical nuke add-on links to Raytheon's main page for retail buyers

[Gee.S]

I was just thinking yesterday, a flame thrower filled with flammable insecticide might kill mealys.

[Viegener]

Years ago my parents had a plague of rabbits eating their vegetables in the country. My father & I bought a rifle & practiced shooting it. I quickly killed a rabbit but it was so awful to pick up its quivering body that we both decided shooting them was not an option. Then began a long but ultimately successful series of fences...

[mcvansoest]

It might be a tad more pricey, but any good hobby CO2 laser, used for laser cutting and etching, probably tops out at 50-60 Watts...
You'd have to mess with the beam path a bit, but hitting someone with that won't just blind them...
Maybe not extremely portable, but setup in the right way could be a nice deterrent against unwanted front yard plant 'shoppers'

If you want to go for something a little more portable a 75W or 150W diode laser can probably be made with a portable power pack and used for short pulses (most of these get hot when on for longer periods of time so are water cooled) of pretty destructive power when it comes to organic materials... and people won't even see what is burning holes in them...

Sorry, I work with lasers, I clearly should use my expertise and branch out into the lucrative market of portable personal laser protection packages. Die rabbit, die!

[Spination]

LOL Jay... tempting.

Funny thing, I had within the last week or so an experience with just one of those 2 footed varmints. Unfortunately for him, armed with shovel already digging into the soil of Mr. Ripple in the driveway, a minimum of 30 feet from the street, family friend CHP officer was on hand to give him a lecture about the perils of entering private property and what constitutes "theft". Unbelievably...this clown has a corporation (he's far from poor), doing business with wineries providing pest and disease control assistance. I wonder if he had a product in his arsenal to neutralize himself?

[Gee.S]

Serious? And all he got was a lecture?

[Stone Jaguar]

Serious? And all he got was a lecture?

My feelings exactly, Tom. You folks up in Sonoma sure are easy going. Caught in flagrante delicto, shovel in hand, and not impaled on a giant agave as a warning to other would-be ne'er do wells? Tsk, tsk.

This guy would have got necklaced in Guat, no fancy-pants Gringo flamethrower required.

[Brooksphilly]

In some parts of Philly, he would have never been seen again (by anyone).

[Brooksphilly]

Unbelievable that someone was actually digging in your yard. How is someone ok with that?

[bigdaddyscondition]

It had to happen eventually. My neighbor warned me. A couple of nights ago my wife and I returned from a walk to find one Echeveria 'Sahara' in a planting of 5 neatly dug up and removed. The thief was tidy, not scattering dirt around on my 1 inch rock hardscape. As you can see from the picture, the planting is a couple of feet from the curb of a moderately-traveled foothills community street. It might as well have a sign on it saying "Steal me."

Stone, is that flame thrower still available at retail?

[Stan]

..and why you dont see my best Echeveria's in the front yard. Or any small choice things as much as I wish I could do Blue Cycads and rare Crassula's..I know those last would be picked to death. I had it happen to K.beherensis that was growing at such a fast rate too. Darn.